Day 6: Do Not Worry...Really?
Written by Jenny Walley
Art by Iain Campbell
Morning Prayer
Notice where, in the past few days you have felt ill at ease. What tensions are rising up? Do you have physical pain or knots in your stomach? Are your thoughts racing from one catastrophe to another? Do you feel unexplained listlessness, despair or confusion?
What do you do when you feel anxious? We have become so used to suppressing and ignoring our anxiety that we don’t pay attention to it until our body forces us to take note. Now that you are in isolation and your distractions are no longer working you may feel the tension rising up.
This morning, you are invited to look at your anxiety with God, and to see what He wants to show you in the midst of it. Don’t get caught up in answering every question, but let them be a starting point for a conversation with God. You may not be feeling it in this moment, but when you do, come back to this.
At the moment of anxiety, when you feel your pulse begin to race, your soul feels uneasy, you’re aware that all is just not right, stop and ask yourself:
What was happening before I became uneasy? Was I in a conversation, reading something, daydreaming? Was I with people or alone? What was I thinking about? What was I doing? What was I feeling?
Is this sense of uneasiness due to the Spirit prompting me to move in a different direction, or is it truly anxiety? The Spirit will not lead me into confusion, shame, or defensiveness, or an emotion that leads me away from Him.
Take some time to explore what the anxious feeling is attached to. Anxiety can be elusive, because it’s often a vague sensation about a situation or circumstance. As soon as you can name something concrete that you’re feeling, it loses power. When you make it you can talk about it with God or others. For example, you may feel anxious after reading an email from a family member and as you explore with God, you discover you have fears related to your health or that of your family. Once you identify this you can speak about it with practical, concrete words rather than a feeling of unsettledness.
Here are some ways you can bring fear to light in the presence of God, and let him meet you in it:
Name how you feel. “God, I feel fearful of ______ because…”
Let it be a conversation with God. Invite God into the scenarios that run through your mind. Ask him to walk through each scenario with you in your imagination. Ask Him to show you if there is anything he wants to set you free from.
As you play out the scenarios above in your mind, notice where God is with you in it.
Take a few moments to rest with God in the truth He has just shown you. You may want to write or draw something to capture it, you may want to sing, walk or take a few deep breaths. Just let God seal in the truth He has spoken.
If the anxiety was attached to an upcoming event, you may wish to reflect with God after the event and think about how it went, and see if there is anything else He wants to say to you about it.
***
Midday Reflection
God of calm,
who knows the end from the beginning,
give grace to us who are bound by time and do not know how things will be,
and call us to remain present to our anxiety yet also present to you,
through Jesus Christ our Lord,
who cried out to you in his anxiety and was ministered to by your Spirit.
Amen.
Do not worry
It can be easy for phrases in the Bible to become so familiar that they almost lose their meaning. When Jesus tells us “do not worry” and asks us to be like the flowers of the fields and the birds of the air, the words can glide past us like a pre-printed greeting card.
In the painting below, we see the images of birds and flowers in the background, contrasted with the painter’s friend, Fiona Morrison, during her last chemotherapy session. There is a deliberate contrast between the birds and flowers and a situation where it is all-but-impossible not to worry. There is no resolution to this dissonance; we are invited to embrace it as it is.
Take some time to sit with the painting, and click on this link to hear Fiona tell her story.
Do Not Worry, ID Campbell 2017, Oil on Canvas with Embroidery, 30” x 40”
As you then hold your own concerns and questions before this compassionate God, allow his presence to meet you right in the middle of the untidiness of them.
***
An evening prayer of examen on the day
Each evening before going to bed, take some time to sit with God, reviewing the day and considering the following questions:
What has been good today?
Take some time to write down everything you are thankful for...the taste of your morning coffee, something that made you laugh, a conversation you had, something you read, anything. Thank God for these moments.
What has been hard?
When did you feel disconnected? What feelings came up that were uncomfortable? What unresolved thoughts do you have? What anxieties, fears or worries did you encounter? Speak these out to God, and listen for what he might say to you about them.
Ask God to show you how he was with you in the good and the hard today. Thank him for His presence and receive His grace.
What does it look like to trust him for tomorrow?